Epizootics

As my great aunt used to say, I currently have the epizootics. She’s the only person I ever heard use that word, but apparently it’s a real word. She used it when we were sick. She’d say, “You have the epizootics.”

My epizootics is nasty. I’ve been coughing up a lung for a couple of days now, and this evening as the Big Guy was lying in the bed, he yelled into the bathroom, ‘Well, it could be worse.” I was brushing my teeth and I HATE when he says something like that because I know it will instantly get worse, and it did. I coughed and pooed my pants. So, now I have the epizootics and diahhrea. I know. TMI (too much information).

And this morning after the Big Guy left for work, I was lying in bed (suffering – sort of) and wondered what that crackling noise was. It sounded like crumpling paper. It was my nose. It was making crackling noises all by itself when I breathed. I darted in the bathroom, snatched some saline nasal spray from the cabinet, stuck it up my nostril and gave it a squirt. You could have heard me scream in the next county. The innards of my nose must have been raw. I literally rubbed salt in an open wound.

So now, I have the saline nasal spray on my desk and use it every half hour (without screaming). I’ve taken some migraine meds for nausea in the hopes it will stop unwanted side effects when I cough.

I still can’t keep my eyes off the news from Japan. I don’t mean to trivialize in any manner their crisis by tacking this onto the end of my epizootics blog entry. I have sat for hours now watching the internet playback the earthquake and the black water tsunami. I’ve watched it over and over. I don’t know how the survivors are going to survive, and their nuclear reactors might be a worse disaster then Chernobyl. I want to quit watching all this, but I don’t.

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12 Comments

Filed under epizootics

12 responses to “Epizootics

  1. AZ

    Eeeegad WE both have the epizootics! After my week long episode of sore throat and coughing so hard I kept getting mega headaches, on Sunday I felt like I was well, then Sunday evening I got a mega case of diarrhea which I attributed to something I ate. Then on Monday I had the worst backache I’ve had since I almost passed a kidney stone (surgery was required to rid myself of that stone), plus I still had diarrhea, and now I’m so cold I was visibly shaking. I stayed on the couch all day and slept off and on, never got hungry so I never ate. Tuesday comes and my back is still killing me, the poops and chills are gone for now, but no eats so no poops. After I woke up this morning I drank some water and decided I’d take some aspirin for the backache, but I hadn’t eaten the previous day so I thought I’d better have a piece of toast before I took my aspirin, and so I did and back came the poops! Hum, food = poops, better not eat. So midmorning I went back to bed with a heating pad for my back and fell asleep. Woke up in about an hour sweating bullets on a count of the heating pad, but the backache was gone! I had a potato for dinner, no butter, no sour cream, with just a little seasoning salt on it, and now my tummy is grumbling again. Now I’m not gonna say whether or not I pooped by drawers, but the word shart comes to mind :0) !

    • Nada

      OMG! I have the backache too. I thought it was from lying in bed. We have the SAME EPIZOOTICS!! I had the cure all for the sharts – cereal. I ate it last night around 2am and it seems to have cured it. I still sound like a goose migrating south with all the honking and people were running from me in the drugstore. Hope you are better. I’m sick of being sick.

  2. Pepper Moon

    Things could be worse. If you had stuck the saline up the wrong orifice and it burned, then…never mind.

    I found Scary, by the way, and he is fine. He said a couple hundred people were killed in his town, but he was not one of them. He’s having a pissing contest on his Facebook page, in case anyone wants to get in on it.

  3. Pepper Moon

    It took me a while to get the hang of it, too. I felt like a complete fool. They’ve redesigned it recently, so you might find it a little easier.

    It basically comes in 4 parts: your account info;
    your profile & all the stuff you “like,” such as books and movies;
    your “wall” a/k/a your other “profile,” where you write your stuff;
    and “home,” which is where you see your friend’s stuff.

    You can also send and receive private messages. There’s also a thingy that tells you how many of your friend’s posts you’ve missed. I never pay any attention to it. It’s kind of useless in my opinion. And yes, if you want to get in on the pissing contest, you’ll have to friend him. I hope you’ll friend me, too.

    • Nada

      Oh God. I can never get that thing straight. I don’t see how people do it. I’m always looking at those messages and thinking, “Do I know these people?” I hate FB.

  4. Hope your are feeling better.

    • Nada

      Better today but this flu is nasty stuff.

      • Pepper Moon

        I am unsubscribing from this post! That fukken word has buried itself in my head like an earworm. All day yesterday through my chores, all last night through a good movie, all night through my sleep…curses on epizootics! I hope I never hear this word again! (no offense to your dear grandmother)

      • Nada

        OMG! LOL! I’m sorry. It is a hideous word. Thank God you didn’t have to hear my Great Aunt sing, “It’s a Long Way to Tipperary.” That would be earwormed in your brain too, like mine. I think my Great Aunt has been dead for about 20 years.

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