Broken, Weird, and Unfixable

My cell phone’s off and on buttons are broken. You can’t turn it off. Well, you can but it pretty much takes a trackscavator sitting on the off button, and once you get it off, you have to pray to Gee Zus that it will turn back on. So, my new modus operandi is to never turn the QWERTY thing off. My cell phone is constantly on, and since it is constantly on, I had to learn how to set it to vibrate, so it would not ring in forbidden places, like my doctors’ offices. Though I enjoy computers very much, I do not like (nor understand) cell phone operation. Sometimes when I have the QWERTY thing set on vibrate, I think someone is calling me when actually I’m having gas. It is a problem because I’m tried of answering my phone when no one is there but a fart.

Then, the volume control broke. Thankfully, it broke at full volume, and not low volume. Now, it sounds like everyone is shouting, and though I would ask people to talk more softly, I refuse because I feel like a fool. I feel like I should be able to control my own cell phone, but clearly, that is not the case. (See paragraph above)

Today, I went to the Metro PCS store here because I need a working phone or a phone I can work. There were two punks running the store. I think the owner may have been tied up in back. Neither had on work shirts to indicate that they actually worked there, and none of the phones they had in stock were better than mine with its current deficiencies. Still, I need a functioning phone, but the final blow came when I asked the faux salesman if I bought a lessor phone from him could he transfer my phone numbers.

“No, I can’t,” he said. “I just got here, and those machines are expensive.”

Did that make sense? No, not to anyone.

So, I left, and went to the grocery. I bought some of those iced cookies. I checked the label and one of those diet busters is 180 calories a piece. A PIECE. In the last hour, I have eaten TWO, some cottage cheese, and a Filipino sausage. This is after a full dinner. It is no wonder I think my cell phone is ringing all the time.



Filed under food, general weirdness

9 responses to “Broken, Weird, and Unfixable

  1. Pepper Moon

    No sympathy for you, girl. I hate all phones. I’m not a phone chatter, although I will text if I need the Insignificant Other to pick up ice on his way home. Since I so rarely use a phone (usually only for the two or three hours I spend on hold with Comcast), I settle for the pay-as-you-go kind. When I buy minutes for it, I get X number of minutes to use up in X number of days. I always run out of days first. When I buy more time for it, they always delete the 100 or so minutes I have left. It pisses me off so badly I can’t see straight for the rest of the day.

    • Nada

      You are definitely not a phone talker. I hate that they take away minutes you have paid for. What kind of scam is that? I pay $40/month for Metro PCS and believe you me, I use it. All of it. And more, but I don’t have to pay for it.

  2. AZ

    I don’t have a cell phone, hell I won’t answer the phone at home, why would I want to carry one with me! I don’t know what’s the matter with me, but I’m just not a phone person, I don’t call just to chat with someone. I always told friends not to call me at work unless it was to tell me they died. My sister and best friend are not chatty phone people either, nor is significant other. I think Facebook chat and email is the best thing on earth, you can get a message across and you don’t have to disturb anyone in the process. Yuppers, I hate phones like I hate roaches, if I see one I wanna stomp on it. I see women everywhere with a phone glued to their ear, and I’ve never heard one single woman saying anything of importance, it’s usually something like “Oh, I’m at Fry’s getting some groceries, no not the Fry’s by my house I’m at the Fry’s on the 303. What are you doing?” WHO THE HELL CARES!!! But then again that’s just me, I think I hate phone because I had to answer so many of them when I worked.

    • Nada

      Like my mother said to me, “You just like to hear yourself talk,” and I guess that pretty much sums it up. I was on the AT & T plan but kept talking over my “minutes” so I switched to Metro PCS for $40/month and now, I can talk until my phone dies. I agree with you though on that chatting in public. I hate hearing that and only call people in public if it’s an emergency. I NEVER call on the bus unless I’m lost and on the wrong bus or want to know what’s for dinner. To me, food is an emergency. On the other hand, I never watch T.V. Can’t stand it. I used to watch Jay Leno late at night and my neurologist told me to stop, and I did – just like that.

      • Pepper Moon

        I’m not big on TV, either, and seldom watch it. I’m always trying to write. Insignificant Other runs in here every five minutes to tell me about something stupid he’s seen on the Idiot Box and breaks my concentration. It was a huge bone of contention in our marriage. They’ll both be gone soon, and I can get back to writing.

      • Nada

        The boob is taking his tube and leaving? I’m sorry, or should I say “congratulations?”

        I had a nightmare about ex #1 last night. I was slapping him and telling him I hated him. And then he would say, “What?” It was like tying up with Brer Rabbit. It seemed to go on for hours.

  3. I carry a pay for the minute cell in the car for emergencies. Haven’t had to use it yet.

    • Nada

      That’s because you are not blabby mouthed like I am. I would use up on the minutes on my phone and the emergency phone if I had access to it.

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