I’m a Whiner

I’ve had a migraine for 3 days, only interrupted for a brief period where I injected myself with an injectionless sumatripan dart gun on a north bound BART train. The medicine made me instantly sick, and I thought briefly about vomiting. I also thought briefly “someone” might be watching the BART cameras on the train and think I was an addict. Neither drama played out.

Today, I woke up and the migraine was gone. Why? I can’t say, and that’s the frustrating part. I wish I knew what caused the pain. I’ve put in 2 phone calls to my neurologist to ask him for some more pain killing dart guns, but he’s not returning my phone call. He’s as sick of me, as I am of myself, or maybe not myself, but my head. I hate my head. If I could detach it from my body, I would. I would kick it into the street and let a garbage truck run over it.

Back in February 2010, I saw the little German doctor in his tiny office and he deadened the back of my head. He wasn’t pretentious. The insurance refused to pay him. I had to write a testimonial how good it felt to have a dead head. Months after the procedure, the e-vile Health Net finally paid him. So, I asked my neurologist to send me back to the small German doctor. His response was, “No. He’s a neurologist just like me.” Does that make any sense at all other than someone felt like his ego was getting stepped on.

Then, my neurologist sent me to a neurosurgeon, who took a syringe and injected the back of my head directly into the nerve that is making my knees buckle in agony. You think the nerve was angry before. It was really pissed off after that. I called the neurosurgeon back. “Help me! Help me, please! This nerve is going to kill me!”

But you know how neurosurgeons are. He was busy. He couldn’t see me for a month and then when he did see me, he said, “There’s nothing I can do for you. I’m transferring you back to the small German doctor.” So, he did exactly what I have been asking my neurologist to do for 3 months. My appointment with the German doc is next week. I’m trying not to do anything to anger that nerve in the back of my head but it is so freaking out of control and migraine sponsoring, I stabbed it with the scissors point, not once, but repeatedly last night. Sometimes, this is all it understands. I woke up this morning pain free, and I have spent the day looking at 187 page of computer desks online, thinking that is pretty unstressful. I may order one. Shipping is free.



Filed under brain, migraine

6 responses to “I’m a Whiner

  1. You are NOT a whiner. I don’t know how you cope with that level of pain all the time. You think it’s weird I didn’t scream when the wasp got me. I think it’s amazing you’re not in a rage all the time with all those horrible headaches!!!!

  2. Nada

    I am a whiner. I’m whining now.

  3. AZ

    Sorry that your doctor is bein’ a shit, I think he’s got a God complex, they all do. Little German doctor, on the other hand, sounds like he knows what he’s doing, that’s probably why the insurance company delayed paying him. Insurance companies don’t like doctors who know what they’re doing; they’d rather have thousands of doctors passing millions of patients back and forth not helping any of them with their maladies that way they collect trillions of dollars in premium payments and the masses just get caught up in the shuffle.

    • Nada

      I so agree with this. I see the little German doc next week, but oddly the migraines have stopped abruptly after I spent one night stabbing the back of my head with the scissors point. You would think that would make it worse.

  4. Pepper Moon

    You stabbed yourself in the head with scissors? I am horrified. Are you all right? I don’t know how you get through your days. AND KEEP SUCH A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR! You ARE NOT a whiner. They should give you a medal. Just knowing you makes my life more tolerable.

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