More Poo on my Shoe

I wrote this really boring blog entry but I just deleted it. Here is the jest of it in a more interesting format – sentence fragments.

retinal hemorrhage with perhaps a possible tear

my neurologist got food poisoning from an old Trader Joe’s sandwich. I don’t know how he did that. I eat old food all the time.

My GP is an asshole

The ER will give you big fatty shots of Ativan if you ask nicely

Optometrists in strip malls should be given cake and ice cream for going above and beyond

Tomorrow I see a retina guru. I could not see anyone today because no one in my HMO was at the facility. My HMO has been trying to kill me for a number of years. But I will show them. I will kill them first.

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6 Comments

Filed under medical

6 responses to “More Poo on my Shoe

  1. Live long and prosper!

  2. AZ

    “Ativan (lorazepam) is in a group of drugs called benzodiazepines (ben-zoe-dye-AZE-eh-peens). It affects chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause anxiety.” I had to Google “Ativan,” and I’ve got to say I’m not real keen on “brain… may become unbalanced” part; isn’t “unbalanced” the socially acceptable term for “nuts, gonzo, a taco short of a combination plate?”

    As for “neurologist” and food “poisoning” I can’t spell either of those words off the top of my head, I had to copy and paste them. Soooo sad.

    If all GPs are Assholes what does that make proctologists? An Asshole asshole specialist?”

    Retinal hemorrhage huh, you just don’t go the simple stuff like hammer toes. Seriously, I don’t know what hammer toes are either, I guess I’d better Google that too.

    • Nada

      LOL!! Hammer toes. That is something new.

      I like your definition of proctologist.

      Ativan is some bad mojo, but it is the only thing to stop unremitting seizures. The next day you will feel like a truck ran over your brain though.

  3. After attending Altered State University in the 70’s, for some reason, I have the hardest time ingesting chemicals now. The other night, my arthritis hurt so much that I finally broke down and decided to take some aspirin. Then when I opened the bottle, I really had to stop and ask myself if I wanted to take two. In the end I just took the one. However, if they ever come up with a pill to cure old age, wrinkles and fat, y’all will have to race to beat me in line.

    • Nada

      If they come up with a pill to cure old age, wrinkles, and fat, I will shank you to beat you to it. Consider this your fair warning.

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