Tissue Paper is Useless

My latest foray into the online shopping world was a search for a vintage napkin holder. I wanted one of those old acrylic kinds with daisies embedded in the acrylic. I found exactly what I wanted on Etsy. The vendor was in Rhode Island. I paid for my funky napkin holder, and the vendor shipped it from Rhode Island wrapped in tissue paper – two sheets. No. It did not survive, and when I wrote her a note saying it was not packed properly, she sniped back that she had shipped a lot of things to the west coast wrapped exactly like my little napkin holder. She must have been mailing rubber balls previously.

And the next use of tissue paper is so ridiculous I don’t even know where to start, so I will start with this – I am on the outs with my general practitioner. When I called him for help with my latest medical crisis, he said “Don’t call me. Use your neurologist’s back up (my neurologist had food poisoning from ingesting an old Trader Joe’s sandwich) or go to the ER.” Don’t call me. Indeed and that is why I tossed his poo test in the garbage yesterday. Well, okay, I also tossed it in the garbage because you are supposed to poo on tissue paper, then take a wooden popsicle stick and smear poo from the tissue paper to the card, and mail that to a lab. If tissue paper can’t prevent a 1970’s acrylic napkin holder from breaking, it certainly cannot hold up under a load of crap. Tissue paper is tissue paper. It is the cobweb of the wrapping industry. It is not duct tape. It is useless.



Filed under general weirdness

6 responses to “Tissue Paper is Useless

  1. AZ

    I pack things better when I’m taking them across town, in my lap no less. What property does tissue paper have that will protect it from a 248 lb. postal worker who just got reamed by his supervisor for listening to his iPod while working in the sorting area? I mean really! I would have had six layers of bubble wrap and two bags of packing peanuts and a cardboard box tested to withstand 899 pounds of pressure around the napkin holder before I handed it over to a shipper. Did the Etsy person refund your moola?

    • Nada

      I did not get my money back yet. Rhode-Island-Tissue-Paper-is-Enough said she is mailing me a check. I don’t know why. I asked her to credit my Visa. Anyway, I’ve done a couple of disputes with my Visa so I know the drill. I have to ask her in writing for the refund twice. I have done it once. I will ask her again in a week if the refund is not here. If she can’t get it here in a couple of weeks, I will open a dispute, and Visa has always sided with me in these matters. I expect them to in this case too. The sad part is the napkin holder is destroyed because of her idiocy. I have not found another one.

  2. New GP is in order for sure. Someone who is willing to treat you like a whole person — brain, blood pressure, vision — everything works together and all the drugs go in the same place too. You need a smart MD who is willing to coordinate the entire the show.

  3. Yopu entertained me with this post. It was probably 1 ply.

  4. Nada

    LOL!! True. I swear tissue paper is thinner than toilet paper.

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