I am on the plane home. I bought some more Wifi. Though I am a cheap “pinch a penny until it screams” type person, I will pay American Airlines $9.95 for Wifi, but I will not buy their snacks. I would rather starve and play on the internet rather than spend my money on their chocolate chip cookie that is as big as a tractor tire.
Before I left Nashville, I did go to one of those little diners that are so popular in the South and ordered a vegetable plate – friend okra, mac and cheese, black eyed peas, and homemade cornbread. No, there is no place in California that can some close to replicating the Bible Belt plate lunch. I have a picture, but it’s on my phone, and I can’t bend over in this plane to reach my phone because the seats are so small my head is already stuck in my ass. I am typing blind.
Small note to American Airlines: I do appreciate you departing and arriving on time. I do not appreciate you trying to charge me for a delicious looking chocolate chip cookie, that I am too cheap to pay you for. I appreciate the movies, even though I am not watching them. I appreciate the full can of ginger ale too, but I do not appreciate you trying to charge me $90 the night before my flight departs to upgrade my seat to the emergency row. I will not give you that. So, we split. Wifi and on-time flights – mine. Cookies and emergency row – yours. We are even steven. So, I will give you a thumbs up and use you next time if I need to. If you could just see fit to swing some cookies my way, that would clench the deal.