Going Home

I am on the plane home. I bought some more Wifi. Though I am a cheap “pinch a penny until it screams” type person, I will pay American Airlines $9.95 for Wifi, but I will not buy their snacks. I would rather starve and play on the internet rather than spend my money on their chocolate chip cookie that is as big as a tractor tire.

Before I left Nashville, I did go to one of those little diners that are so popular in the South and ordered a vegetable plate – friend okra, mac and cheese, black eyed peas, and homemade cornbread. No, there is no place in California that can some close to replicating the Bible Belt plate lunch. I have a picture, but it’s on my phone, and I can’t bend over in this plane to reach my phone because the seats are so small my head is already stuck in my ass. I am typing blind.

Small note to American Airlines: I do appreciate you departing and arriving on time. I do not appreciate you trying to charge me for a delicious looking chocolate chip cookie, that I am too cheap to pay you for. I appreciate the movies, even though I am not watching them. I appreciate the full can of ginger ale too, but I do not appreciate you trying to charge me $90 the night before my flight departs to upgrade my seat to the emergency row. I will not give you that. So, we split. Wifi and on-time flights – mine. Cookies and emergency row – yours. We are even steven. So, I will give you a thumbs up and use you next time if I need to. If you could just see fit to swing some cookies my way, that would clench the deal.



Filed under travel

6 responses to “Going Home

  1. AZ

    As long as your head is stuck in your own ass I consider that a win-win; stuck up the ass of the passenger in front of you EWWWWW!

    • Nada

      It was my own ass, so I guess that’s okay??????

      Sorry for neglecting these comments. I seem to have lost some of my email…or I’m senile…or both.

  2. This is hilarious! And two strangers liked your post. They’re right. Now I’m going to dream of that huge, unattainable chocolate chip cookie. I bet it was delicious but I wouldn’t have bought it either.

    • Nada

      I’m still thinking about it. I would like to pummel one of their planes with chocolate chip cookies in protest. I would use those small fat free ones that are tasteless though and akin to dog biscuits.

  3. Funny post. $90 to sit in the emergency row. Really sounds like they don’t know if they are going to make it and want to give someone the chance to escape first.

  4. Nada

    The weird thing is I kept poking the seating button for the emergency row and it finally gave it to me without me giving up $90. I don’t understand nor do I fly enough to gain any knowledge about what goes on in the airline industry.

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