How does this work?

Our cactus flowers typically last 3 days. This fella bloomed out of season, presented itself on the top of the garden wall, and has raged for a week.

YouTube contacted me about a month ago and asked to advertise on “my channel.” Huh? I laughed. HA HA HA HA and thought the request was really funny. My second thought was “I have a channel?” I guess I made somewhere in the distant past before my mind was paste, the white gooey kind you scoop out of a big tub in second grade and eat when the teacher isn’t looking. I told YouTube, “no” because 1) I don’t like advertising and 2) I thought they were confused. NO ONE is looking at my channel. So, I was fiddling around the other night, trying to find “my channel” and I accidentally did. At the top of “my channel’s” web page, it says I have 28,000 views. WHAT?

My phone carrier is MetroPCS (aka GhettoPCS). I have a “touch” phone which means God-knows-what because I touch it to unlock it, and it stays locked. Touch it to call The Big Guy. Nada tambien. Then, if I finally manage to get a call through there’s a wood chipper running in the background of the person I am trying to talk to. So, I called Verizon today. They have one phone I can use for their monthly contract service, and they are more than happy to FedEx it to me, and then, I can activate it. I checked the reviews for that one phone and a lot of people are very angry with it. They want to give it zero stars. I want to buy an unlocked phone off of Ebay and make Verizon activate that, but I don’t how that works, or if it would work.

My new GP has referred me to a nutritionist – which is good. I see her next Tuesday. I have answered her questionnaire, and then, erased those answers and answered it again with different answers. Does this mean no more cake? I suspect so. I suspect it means no more eel, so I have been at the Safeway, buying it and stuffing eel in my mouth like it was cake. I hope the nutritionist doesn’t ask me what I ate this week – oatmeal, eel, more eel, more oatmeal. I didn’t eat cake because I didn’t want to tell her cake. Cake. and more cake.

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6 Comments

Filed under cake, general weirdness

6 responses to “How does this work?

  1. Now this is a busy post. Enjoyed the read. Everything but you eating all of that eel. Oh my, but I have to pass on eel. I’ve fished at night here in Germany and caught many an eel. Gave them away. That was some time ago. Haven’t fished in a dozen years or so.

  2. Nada

    Wonder why they are out at night? I bet they put up a bit of fight on a fishing line. I certainly would not want to swim around in the sea with a lot of eels. I just read there is some typical German food called Green Eel Soup – YUM!

  3. Eels are probably nocturnal — thus the built-in flashlight. Verizon has many phones. Many are even free. I don’t think you can buy the usual unlocked phone and transfer it over because Verizon doesn’t do the whole SIM card thing but I could be wrong. Call them and ask. They have always been super nice and helpful when I did that — and that’s not something everyone can say about their mobile phone carrier.

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