Yesterday, I tried to purchase Rogaine from a drugstore checker who was probably a third my age. I COULD NOT DO IT. I threw the Rogaine down in the mini wine bottles, right there by the check-out, and simply bought a tube of Clearsil. Yup. How does that work? Almost 60 and pimples. God is mean spirited, taking my hair one strand at time and exchanging them for pimples.
I came home disgruntled, and would have eaten cake to soothe my mood, but I’m on a diet for high blood pressure and high cholesterol, so I ate some extra cottage cheese instead and marked on my food log – “HA HA EXTRA COTTAGE CHEESE.”
Then, I stayed up late surfing the internet for buys on Rogaine, which as anyone knows that’s the covert method to get geezer items like diapers and hair grow snake oil to your house. Also as anyone knows, late internet shopping is a dangerous activity, akin to drinking by yourself late at night, except what happens around 1am unfortunately does not stay at 1am. Your purchase will haunt you the next morning from your email in-box.
What now? I don’t even own a brush.