Geezer Central

Yesterday, I tried to purchase Rogaine from a drugstore checker who was probably a third my age. I COULD NOT DO IT. I threw the Rogaine down in the mini wine bottles, right there by the check-out, and simply bought a tube of Clearsil. Yup. How does that work? Almost 60 and pimples. God is mean spirited, taking my hair one strand at time and exchanging them for pimples.

I came home disgruntled, and would have eaten cake to soothe my mood, but I’m on a diet for high blood pressure and high cholesterol, so I ate some extra cottage cheese instead and marked on my food log – “HA HA EXTRA COTTAGE CHEESE.”

Then, I stayed up late surfing the internet for buys on Rogaine, which as anyone knows that’s the covert method to get geezer items like diapers and hair grow snake oil to your house. Also as anyone knows, late internet shopping is a dangerous activity, akin to drinking by yourself late at night, except what happens around 1am unfortunately does not stay at 1am. Your purchase will haunt you the next morning from your email in-box.

And so, I bought a wig called Slique by Forever Young. The color is 30, which translates either to brown or red, depending on your monitor calibration. It looks like this. I will be the geezer whore.

What now? I don’t even own a brush.

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13 Comments

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13 responses to “Geezer Central

  1. Oh no. You bought that wig because you thought that blue fur would come with it!!!!

  2. Perhaps I should try Rogaine before my hair goes south. I like Cottage cheese. Had some tonight.

  3. AZ

    “Geezer whore” FUNNY. That’s the reason I don’t color my hair, I think I look like a woman unwilling to accept her “older” self; that and the fact nothing looks more “geezer whore” than jet black hair on an old woman.

    • Nada

      I agree. My ex-mother-in-law’s sister (I know hard to follow) used to die her hair jet black and she was in her 70’s. I called her Ink Pot Head. Then the ex (who wasn’t an ex at the time) started calling her that too.

  4. Ah well! That’s why I DO color my hair. I don’t accept anything about myself old. I’m a Geezer Whore all day long. 🙂

  5. AZ

    I need to qualify my response, I think the reason I don’t color my hair (other than the fact I’m lazy a hell) is my limited color choice. Japanese have black hair and so do most Mexicans – when I went to beauty school I was taught that as you age you should select lighter colors to compliment the “older” you, but most of my hair is still black and when I color it (brown or auburn) it still looks black except for the front where most of my grey is. Thereby giving me the mutton dressed up like lamb look.

    • Nada

      LOL!!! This time I died my hair blond. But honestly, no one can tell it from the grey, or the grey over powered the blond. I don’t know which.

  6. I agree that that inky black on older ladies can look odd. I’m a strawberry blonde who ended up a redhead because covering my grey wasn’t working with more blond. Unless you’re a platinum blonde, it’s difficult.

  7. Connie

    I came into to this world a blond and I plan on going out as one! I did let my hair go to the natural color last year….it was not attractive. I looked like an old mouse! Blond it is!

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