I sleep eat. I sleepwalk, go into the kitchen and eat. It’s not the usual sort of eating anyone would do during the day either. I mix up weird stuff like cottage cheese and couscous or drink a half a gallon of orange juice. I have done this since I was a child, and sometimes I wake up in the middle of the sleep eat, like I did with the cottage cheese and couscous snack. I woke myself up by saying “Hey! This is crazy delicious.”
I don’t know why I do it. Sometimes I’m hungry. Most times not. Psychologists have now decided sleep eating is a mental and eating disorder. Really? Everything is a disorder these days. I’m a disorder.
But here’s the worst 2 case of recent history.
1) 2 days in a row I woke up with chewed food in my mouth. Usually I eat it, which means I chew whatever it is I’m eating in the sleepwalk and SWALLOW it. This stuff was chewed and unswallowed and still in my mouth. GROSS. It took me a couple of days to figure the guilty food was almonds. Chewed up almonds in my mouth all night. Woke up with a mouthful of chewed almonds like a chipmunk. And no, I did not spit them out. I swallowed them when I woke up, which is possibly even more gross.
2) The second incident was with “almonds” again. Apparently I woke the new dog up to sleep eat with me. He usually stays in bed when I’m “doin’ ma disorder thang” in the middle of the night in the kitchen. He doesn’t jump off the bed which means I had to wake him up and bring him into the kitchen with me to sleep eat. I woke up because I had the nastiest tasting almonds in my mouth that I had ever eaten. In my hand were dog treats. DOG TREATS. I don’t think I was eating almonds at all. I think the dog and I were standing in the kitchen eating the dog’s treats.
That’s when I decided THIS HAS GOT TO STOP. I just ate the dog treats AND I got him out of bed to eat them with me.